Ecow-nomic Models

This was a really funny thing that a good friend of mine sent me a while back. Found it in my archives and couldn’t help but share it.

***

Ecow-nomic Models:

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive…

***

That last one in particular, hahaha.

Philippines: First Step, Lower Taxes

(Published in Free Enterprise Vol. 1 Issue. 2 2010)

There are a lot of developing countries in the world who are looking for an answer to their woes, our country being one of them. The biggest question out there is “How do we become a 1st world country?” A great first step for us would be; lower taxes. Lower it as much as possible.

Almost all countries that took this first step towards greater freedom and capitalism reaped immediate benefits. To name a few, there are former communist states like Estonia, Poland, Russia. And then there is Ireland, which was considered the “Sick Man of Europe” but has since transformed into the “Celtic Tiger.” Each and everyone of these states have found a greater degree of prosperity.

This is because a low tax rate increases foreign investment, creates more jobs, lessens the government’s wasteful spending(usually), encourages businesses to expand and most of all it allows people to keep more of what is rightfully theirs; the fruits of their labour.

Unfortunately, the economics of high taxes is still pretty much alive today. Countries at the cusp of making it, destroy all their potential growth by confiscating more and more of its citizens hard earned money. There is a mistaken view in economics that somehow higher taxes can result in a better country. The view is usually, to put it simply; “It’s okay if the government raises taxes, so long as I’m getting good services out of it.” The problem is, with the exception of the Military, the Police department, and the Courts, government has never done anything so well that the private sector can’t do it better and cheaper.

If one needs a historical example, one simply needs to look at the now defunct Soviet Union. There the government sought to provide its people free education, free healthcare, free housing and free everything. The result was poverty, stagnation and misery. Not to mention the countless deaths resulting from such a Totalitarian government. And such results are shared to varying degrees by all nations who have chosen to make their government the “great provider.”

In addition, raising taxes is usually thought of as necessary to fix the deficit of a country. There is a better solution to such a problem and that is to cut spending. Raising taxes hurts the economy which means such a policy would be more disastrous than helpful. Plus there have been many occasions where government revenue has actually increased after lowering taxes, this is due to the increased economic growth and productivity resulting from such a policy

So for our nation to prosper and to be a better country over all, the first step should be clear. Lower taxes.